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Before talking; Please connect the tongue to the brain!

I`m jealous of my parents, i`ll never have a kid as cool as theirs.

Can I take your picture?? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters.

The only reason god made cousins so that parents can compare our marks.

People say laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world.

When life gets tough, remember: You were the strongest sperm.

The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza.

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

I don’t always lose my phone but when I do its always on silent.

I’m a good boy with bad habits: P

Flip a coin... If head comes, I am yours, if tail comes then you are mine. :)

Don't worry. God is always on time.

She loves me or not but I love her a lot.

Girls are like parking spaces, all the good ones are already taken.

Warning, do you think its right time to talk to me?

Why is Monday so far from Friday and Friday so near to monday????

I like to take road less travelled…..helps me to avoid traffic.

Wow now I’m a graduate…….Now thermometer is not the only thing that has degrees without brains

If my love for you is a crime, I want to be the most wanted criminal.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.

I can handle pain until it hurts.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure.

I can see you checking my whatsapp status.

 

God is really creative , i mean ..just look at me.

I’am looking for a bank loan which can perform two things..give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.

Second chances are for losers….either we do it in first place or live it for others.

I wish I could loose weight as easy as I lose my pens,keys,smartphone,my temper and even my mind.

fun is like life insurance.The older you get..the more it cost’s.

I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by selling my car.

My week is basically …Monday–>Monday#2–>Monday#3–>Monday#4–>Friday–>Saturday–>pre-Monday

Gravity always gets me down. :)

I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.

I feel lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag.

Work hard.Dream big

Whether it’s the best of times or the worst of times, it’s the only time we’ve got.

Happiness is not the absence of problems.It’s the ability to deal with them.

Problem’s are not stop signs..They’re guidelines.

I'm not short, I am just concentrated awesome!

You can stay in my heart without paying single penny.

If you don't care stop talking about it.

God was showing off when He created you.

Girl, you better have a license, coz you are driving me crazy!

Never apologize for being you.